He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
