Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
