I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
