puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
