We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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