it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
