Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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