no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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