you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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