Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
why do cheetos always look like penises
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
