Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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