Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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