Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
