Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
