I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
