we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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