If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
