I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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