porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Randomize
