Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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