i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
