super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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