also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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