gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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