No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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