ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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