We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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