I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
