Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
