I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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