Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
