She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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