Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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