you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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