he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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