a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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