why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
