I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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