I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
