Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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