Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
