You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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