so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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