I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
