girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
