being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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