It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
