She is in my trunk
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
