You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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