Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
